Why Aren't We Having More Fun? (And How FOMU Kills Joy)

One day, I joined my cousin for a live Backstreet Boys Peloton ride…and it was a blast.

My kids were next to me wondering “what happened to mom?” while I was dancing, pedaling and singing. I was having FUN. (Does anyone else still know every single word to every song - like where does that live in my brain?)

And it kinda hit me that I don’t think I’m having enough fun, and I started to suspect if a lot of us are not having enough fun.

The seed was planted in a conversation the day before with a friend of mine - she and I were both reflecting on the fact that no matter how much we did, it never felt like “enough”.

Can you relate to this?

You do the thing. Spent the time. But somehow you’re always late and always behind.

How many times have you heard someone say (or said to yourself): “I don’t have time.”

And on top of it, even if our work is what we want to do, feels purposeful, I started to feel like I wasn’t really having fun. Not necessarily in my work, but in my day to day.

Being silly on that bike with my kids sparked something in me. My mood was through the roof.

And I felt like my joy was a choice - a choice to be intentional to create it.

My kids have been requesting “Everybody” and “Larger than Life” on repeat in the days since and I’ve been singing along and calling impromptu dance parties. And I’ve been feeling a lightness I feel like has been missing.

It’s not that I’ve been unhappy, but there’s a difference between fulfilling work and taking time for actual play - actual space for joy.

Singing and dancing has always been a source of fun for me, but yet at 40, it’s something I do very rarely.

How about you? How much time do you spend doing things that bring you joy?

I'm starting to wonder if experiencing joy and having fun is another thing fallen victim to FOMU (Fear of Messing Up)...trying to get it “right” or letting it fall behind in our priorities because of everything we think we’re “supposed” to do first.